Her husband Monty ran across a poem by Richard Wilbur, written after his wife had passed away. It was about a dream his wife had often had of an imaginary house she loved.
Melinda created the house she and Monty lived in, and this led him to write a poem similar to Wilbur's. Here are the words to both poems:
The House
by Richard Wilbur August 31, 2009
Sometimes, on waking, she would close her eyes
For a last look at that white house she knew
In sleep alone, and held no title to,
And had not entered yet, for all her sighs.
What did she tell me of that house of hers?
White gatepost; terrace; fanlight of the door;
A widow’s walk above the bouldered shore;
Salt winds that ruffle the surrounding firs.
Is she now there, wherever there may be?
Only a foolish man would hope to find
That haven fashioned by her dreaming mind.
Night after night, my love, I put to sea.
The House
By Monty Phister, March, 2011
Our rooms she furnished with ideas of art:
Tools, seashells, baskets, keepsakes, model boats.
But drawers, shelves, stone walls, books and winter coats
She built, wrote, sewed -- these crafts set her apart.
She painted metaphors which she’d arrange.
A clothespin is a man, an awl a shoe,
The drawing just a stage for actors who
Would tell of grief or parting or of change.
She left stray notes to help my memory.
A box is ‘Batteries’, a pouch ‘Inkstand’,
‘Doorbell’, ‘Christmas’, ‘spare parts’ in her neat hand.
I feel my love’s still looking after me
:
Monty also wrote two songs son after she passed away.
WHO EVER THOUGHT WE'D EVER SAY
1. Melinda was beautiful. Strangers were moved by her elegant comeliness. Every day, lovelier. Face was enchanting, easy with laughter, figure bewitching, smile so appealing, no one was winsomer.
2. Melinda was talented, excelled by none. Still lifes and railroads were things she thought fun. Worked very carefully, once she'd begun. Weeks in the studio, only she knew when the painting was done.
3. Melinda was learned, perceptive and wise. Magna cum laude was not a surprise. Diligent reader, with all that implies. Serious-minded, she always was seeking the wherefores and whys.
4. Melinda was known as remarkably kind. Thoughtful in friendship, no one left behind. Asked for some comfort she never declined. To be graciously helpful to everyone she was inclined.
Chorus: (repeated after every verse)
Beauty, intelligence, talent and kindness, all are now saddening simply because
Who ever thought we'd ever say -- "She was"
MY LAST SONG FOR MELINDA
1. The house is bare and desolate. Self portraits are not you, at all. Our friends keep on reminding me that you are now forever lost.
The world goes on. The city, I believe, continues to exist.
2. I sleep alone, and when I leave there is no one to say goodbye. When I come home no one is here to welcome me with a sweet kiss.
The world goes on. The city, I believe continues to exist.
3. Life is no longer fun and good. No longer will you hold my hand. You write no notes reminding us of things we might forget to do.
Self-pity's neither admirable nor wise. I must go on.
4. Your heart was open to us all. Love and attention were your gifts. You were entrancing, beautiful, and gentle always, through and through.
The world goes on. The city will some day become habitable.
5. The whole world knew you wise and kind, enjoyed your charming, graceful ways. The studio is empty now, but still your presence lingers on
The world goes on. The city will some day become habitable
6. All memories are poignant, cruel. There certainly was little time. You were and will be always My Own True Love.
The world goes on. The city will some day become habitable.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here are some of the remarks made by friends and relatives before and after her death:
Dear Melinda,
....when I went for my annual doctor's exam this year, the doctor asked me if anyone in my family had had a serious illness. I very nearly mentioned you, and it took a few seconds to realize that you are not really related to me. I've known you since I was small, and I've come to feel we are somehow family. I hope you'll accept me as an honorary cousin.
Ann
__________________
Melinda's affectionate and creative nature touched so many like us, who loved her. Her death comes as a sad surprise for us who were not there with you during your vigil these past few weeks.
One of the treasures my mother brought with her to my home is Melinda's painting of letters, ephemera. It hangs in the entryway to our home here. I see and marvel at it daily recalling Melinda so fondly, with admiration. It reminds me too of my own visit with you and Melinda in Santa Fe a few years ago. Then I experienced the warm and happy home you shared together and witnessed your friendship with each other.. Among the treats of that visit was the bit of time Melinda shared with me in her studio, showing me her work, her process, and talking about her plans for her train series [of paintings]. I have saved each of her charming Christmas cards over the years
Sara, Joe, and Irma
_______________________
I will attempt to put into words what my heart wants to convey to you. I know Melinda was the true love of your life. Her gentle spirit, incredible talent, beautiful smile, and generous heart continue to shine through the many lives she touched.
Betsy
________________________
We are so very, very sorry that Melinda lost her battle with cancer. We had hoped the treatments would be more helpful. Losing Melinda seems almost unthinkable. Her presence was so solid, she was so securely confident in her art, and she seemed too strong to be felled by that wretched disease. You and she had a wonderful life, and because of that we - like everyone - tended to assume it would go on and on. I admired her so much, and certainly was a bit awestruck by her meticulously created works of art.
We will not forget her. She will remain a person who affected my view of the art world, and both Bob and I will always remember her fondly as a friend and hostess. Of course we regret not having seen her more. One always realizes that too late.
Mary and Bob
______________________
I'm very sorry to hear about Melinda's death. I have such clear and vivid memories of sitting at the breakfast table in your house, the light coming through the window, Melinda talking about her work at the opera or in school. I'm sure that those memories (now more than twenty years old, but still sharp in my mind) will be with me the rest of my life.
David
____________________
Stanley and I are distressed to hear that Melinda died so soon. I had talked with her when she began with Hospice, and had a very good talk and tea with her about two months prior to that. She was open and seemed more calm than I would have been, said she felt she would be up in the stars and would like that. We will miss her and remember her for a long, long time.
Stan and Julia
____________________
Dear Melinda,
I obviously can't begin to say what I feel, how hard it is to read those lines [in Melinda's email to her] and try to come to "accept" what is happening, how much harder it must be for you to go through all this change and suffering
I can say that I love you very much, that I hold you in my heart, and turn to memories of you and us making puppets, and masks, and hands, and cushions, and sewing a stuffed moon, and cooking, and spooning up, and hugging, and sitting in pleasant silence, and discussing (in person or in writing) boys and mothers, and love and hope.. I turn to these lessons I've learned from you and realize how alive and well they are, how they grow in me to this day, how your patience and courage inspire me to act as best I can to deserve the love and attention and care you shower upon me day after day. And I'm grateful to be part of your life, and to have you as a part of mine.
I love you, Sarah Phister (granddaughter)
_____________________
Hi Melinda!
I remember the 1987 reunion of the Holts/Phisters. You were making masks and doing quiet, artistic things by yourself. You kindly explained to me that this was your way, that you needed some time to (as I now think of it) "go inside and be peaceful". I have lived enough since then to understand fully what you meant at the time..
Just know that Bill and I care much about you and love you, you are Uncle Monty's love and we love your for what you have given to him.
Lisa and Bill
____________________
During times like this, sometimes it is best to speak directly from our hearts so we can attempt to express how much you mean to us. Unfortunately we are all mutually destined to leave this earth at some time. But when the sands of time have scrubbed our bones dry, we believe beautiful memories of you shall long endure. Dearest Melinda, your sweet loving smile, gentle compassion for others and many unique artistic creations will linger on as memorable treasures radiating in our souls, constantly bringing us together over and over again. You are a wondrous person who quietly and softly has left huge foot prints in our hearts. The world is a better place and people are more caring wherever you have been. May our spirits be united forever.
We love and miss you.
Paula and Jack
______________________
Mom told me you're feeling worse right now. I want to tell you again you're more important to me than you know, even though I haven't gotten to see you as much as I'd like. I admire you as a person (how you handle yourself at our family reunions); the way you carry yourself in general, the way I've seen you handle serious illness (SO much better than I would) and your intelligent, charming, graceful ways. People who are lucky enough to see your art maybe get a chance to see the world a little bit of the way you do. I just love you, Melinda, and it makes me so sad to think of you going anywhere. I'll turn that into a "positive thought", and just tell you how much you mean to me. I hope you can feel the great tides of love coming from people all over the world who love you, and whose lives you've touched. Even if you go somewhere, if you can I hope you'll maybe talk to me sometimes. I love you...sending very gentle hugs and maybe a soft lullaby if you're in the mood.Susan
___________________
I have been so sad to hear of the passing of dear Melinda - such a tragic loss. My friendship with her has always been a special gift. Of course I admired her great talent as an artist -- and her dedication to her vision. When I think of Melinda, I also think of her beauty --- inner as well as physical -- her gentle femininity -- her strength of character and integrity. She will be missed by so many, in so many ways.
Over the years I have saved all of her cards. In December I will display then, once again, as a living memorial to a beautiful soul.
Love, Sara
__________________
Melinda was an exceptional person. Her art work commanded attention for its intricate detail. Most importantly, her friendship to so many was genuine and open-hearted. We will greatly miss her.
Love, Sarah and Marco
_____________________________
We will all miss her so much!
It was an honor and privilege -- and learning experience -- working with Melinda on the Living Treasures Committee. We knew things would get done, and well!
Melinda's warm smile, cheerful demeanor, and 'upbeat-ness' created a peaceful and wonderful working atmosphere. She took care of us, leaving no loose ends, even when she was fighting her cancer. She was a perfectionist, and seemed perfect. I learned from Melinda's vast intelligence and quiet wisdom. After our conversations I invariably wrote her comments and insights into my 'quote book'
I adore Melinda's strength and courage -- the way she handled her illness and treated dying as a part of living. A role model, a mentor, a true inspiration, she taught me even when there are things we cannot control, we can choose how we deal with them. Melinda took the high road -- she was pure grace and beauty. Melinda will always have a special place in my heart.
Nancy
_____________________
Dear Monty,
Melinda's memorial and gathering yesterday was enormously loving and revealing. All the words that were spoken were a gift to all of us from you, and most importantly, Melinda. Such a special and truly loving relationship you shared! And it's very rare these days to be privileged to know such a marriage existed. Melinda and you came to my last opening, and I cannot say in words how dear that was and how very thoughtful. I will forever have that picture in my mind of Melinda's dear smile and sparkling eyes along with your kind face and words.
You have given your family and friends a very private and wonderful gift of sharing your unconditional love for your darling Melinda.
Thank you, dear Monty.
Lisa
____________________
Dear Melinda,
I am writing to thank you, Melinda, for your friendship and your sweet presence. You have been so giving toward me, and with my daughter. Reading her thesis, taking time to write suggestions, comments, and encouragement was so very generous of you.. The last time she and I spoke she told me she had just re-read your notes to her. Please know how she continues to appreciate your ideas and thoughtfulness.
I am so very glad I got to have that time with you in your studio. I have images from that visit that I know will ever remain with me.;
The legacy of your paintings, your art, leaves the world enriched.
We, your friends, will so miss that unique way of thinking/reasoning that you have. It was a pleasure to share a conversation together. Thank you, Melinda, for always treating our friendship with gentleness and good humor
I wish you Godspeed,
With Love, Dana
__________________
I was a fellow student with Melinda in the early 90's at the College of Santa Fe. A friend let me know that she had passed recently. I am so sorry. Melinda, as I am sure you are well aware, was extremely special. I spent many hours working next to her at the college, and I marveled at her exceptional talent. She also happened to be one of the sexiest women I knew, especially from my 19 year old perspective .
I am deeply sorry for your loss. I'll miss her too.
Bruce
__________________
Even though it has been some time since we saw each other, I can picture and hear her so clearly. She was such an extraordinary and beautiful person. Unassuming, gentle, so kind, a wonderful artist and so engaged. I think back to times in Santa Fe all those years ago -- it almost seems like another life. She and I had emailed back and forth some in more recent years, and I have kept our correspondence in NY. I love her paintings and hope to be able to buy one from her memorial show. They have such a beauty, stillness and richness to them. Like herself.
It was lovely to be in both of your presences as you could feel the love and respect between you. Like a beautiful tapestry, you complimented each other. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.
Barbara
______________________
Melinda was one of those few people, like the heroines of certain 19th century authors, who combined almost all of the virtues with almost none of the faults -- except the one of not living long enough.
Her beauty was matched by her kindness, intelligence, and artistic talent, something that her modesty made seem like no big deal -- though it was. She also took pleasure in the lives and accomplishments of her friends, something that always warmed us when we visited or saw her after a separation.
Gary
_____________________________
It is hard, from so far away, to imagine that my young-at-heart, beloved friend is no longer installed in her studio so productively creating things of beauty. Melinda was such a consummate artist -- everything she touched took on a special quality.
Pam
---------------------------------------------
Dear Monty,
We wish to send you our love. We miss her too, terribly, and you are right she was "talented, beautiful, intelligent, and kind" and it is horrible to be without her.. I still at times cannot believe it is true. She will always be one of the very dearest friends that I will ever know. I feel so deeply blessed to have known such a gentle and beautiful woman, and I am so greatly sorry for your deep and incredible loss.
Sarah
Click here to return to Monty's Writings.